DOUG LANE WRITES
10/31/23 - MYSTERIOUS AND SPOOKY
Give yourself a geezer gold star if THE ADAMS FAMILY theme has earwormed its way inside. I’ve been away; over the summer, we embarked on the scariest thing you can do: buying a home. I won’t bore you with the details. Suffice to say, we’ve completed the process, the office is set up, the books are unpacked, the improvements have begun, and the feral apple tree, Newton, is getting a long-overdue haircut.
There isn’t much new or strange on the writing front at the moment, but I couldn’t let spooky season pull up on Lastday without a little shudder action; I’ve been tinkering with a story previously offered up on Facebook in a single, short Facebook burst four years ago, inspired by my friend Jay Francis and his annual tango with a Mexican restaurant he has long known and remains tied to, despite himself. It’s been tweaked since that first appearance, which the Al Gore Rhythm may not have allowed you to see, and have added it to the Story Stash as a meditation on consumption, toxic dietary relationships, earworms and accelerants. Hie thee over and give three minutes to “All You Can Eat” while you can.
And while I was busy elsewhere, Radon Journal nominated “To Sleep, Perchance” for the O. Henry Prize, which was a nice note in the summer of Which Old House.
6/2/23 - HUNDRED ACRE ROUND THE WORLD
First, thanks to everyone who made the drop of HUNDRED ACRE a success, and for the feedback received. Writers really do like to know they’re being read.
Always be selling, so they say. Given Ingram Spark decided to get rid of setup fees, I in turn decided to add another outlet for the sale of HUNDRED ACRE that would nose through the door at Jeff Bezos’ house and maybe nudge some ePub readers in my direction. (And scale back fulfillment - which takes a chunk out the writing time.)
The long and short of it: HUNDRED ACRE is now available around the planet from Amazon in dead tree form (where it’s already found its way into the hands of a reader in… Germany! Which is also where my first
two pieces of fan mail came from waaaaay
back during the MACHINE OF DEATH
days) as well as Barnes & Noble, through
Waterstones in the UK, Thalia in Germany,
Booktopia in Australia - Winnie-the-Pooh
and his pork pie hat have gone worldwide!
(Same holds true for SHADY ACRES.)
I’ll still be selling signed copies through the
website - I make the best coin dealing my own
dope - but being available through a regional
website solves some supply issues. I also fully
support shopping locally, so you can order
the book through your local brick and mortar.
But direct order from me has one benefit:
the book costs a dollar more from everyone
else (grafting on distribution costs.)
Meanwhile…
Other projects are in the works (always), with a slew of edits to be keyed in and stories to be buffed to a high shine. And there may even be a Free Fiction Friday from the archives next week. But first, I’m going to take a weekend to turn 55, hunts some books, eat some ice cream, and begin Secret Life Project #73. IYKYK.
3/22/23 - HUNDRED ACRE PREORDER AND MORE
After much proofing, art-working, and engineering of the purchase system, I’m pleased to announce the chapbook HUNDRED ACRE is available for preorder.
Subtitled “three criminal elements”, HUNDRED ACRE features a trio of crime-related tales. In the title story, A.A. Milne collides with Black Mask magazine as a bear of very little brain goes hunting for his best friend’s killer; then a luckless old ex-con sets off to the wilds of Albany, NY to settle a long-time supernatural score in “Cutting”; and finally, our old friend the Iron Vanguard returns to fight a foe who’s three of a kind in “Triplicate Threat”. With a cover and spot illustrations remixed from the work of original Winnie-the-Pooh artist E.H. Shepard that pay homage to its inspirational roots.
It’s fifty pages of murder, mayhem, and heroics for
$7 (plus $4 shipping in the US). Preorder is open
NOW. Books are expected to ship beginning on
May 1, barring any printing delays. AND if you
pre-order before April 5, you’ll get a special
bonus ‘thank you’ for your support. “What’s in
the box?” you shout. “WHAT’S IN THE BOX?”
You have to order to find out. (Not a head.)
The full details and button to order your copy
are on the BUY page (linked here and above.)
We use PayPal for billing, which will let you
use a PayPal or Venmo account, as well as a
credit card (without needing a PayPal account),
but if you need The Old Ways of Commerce,
email Orders@douglasjlane.com and let’s talk.
Also, this is a website EXCLUSIVE - not
available through Lulu, Amazon, or anywhere
else online. (#Dougopoly)
The BUY page also has a couple of new Oddball collectibles at the bottom of the page. In the near future, I’ll be branching out from one-off items with content from me to one-off items by others as I clear off some shelves, before I spin the wheel of eBay - and maybe I’ll just do an old-fashioned used book list this summer. As experiments go, I expect fully mixed results, but eBay loves their 15% take for books too much, and I’m not above trying to keep that in my pocket while I thin my shelves.
In Other News…
The Saturday Evening Post’s ebook anthology of the 2022 Great American Fiction contest winners, including “Daddy, Play That Babalú” is available now. No dead trees edition on this one - just the ebook. Link can be found on the BUY page if you’re curious to read the winner, other runners-up, and the honorable mention stories. (Link goes to Amazon, as it’s a Kindle. I get no nickels, but you can read some of the other finalists not published on the website. “Daddy, Play That Babalú” is still on the site to read for free. And new submission material is in the works. More information as it happens!
01/06/23 - STARTING WITH A BANG
If you’re going to begin the year, do so from (almost at) the top. That thing I couldn’t tell you about in December? I was the first runner-up in this year’s The Saturday Evening Post Great American Fiction Contest. The winner’s story received publication in the print version of the Post (which still exists, though damned if I can find a physical copy on newsstands), while the five runners-up will appear one-a-week on the website - and for me, that week begins today, with the publication of “Daddy, Play That Babalú”, which you might gather has something to do with a famous television series.
The Story:
1952.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
incorporate Lucy's real-life
pregnancy into their hit CBS
sitcom, a well-orchestrated and
calculated risk that drove a
ratings bonanza. But what if
things had taken an unspeakable
turn into horrors both real and
supernatural?
What indeed. I’m very proud
of how this alternate history
Hollywood ghost story
worked out, and I hope you
enjoy it!
Click here to read
“Daddy, Play That Babalú”
at The Saturday Evening Post.
About the Story: If you’re inclined after reading the story to get a peek behind the curtain, I put up some notes about how it came to be in the Story Stash. (Ed Note: no longer available.) Not everyone grooves on seeing gearwheels and stitching, but some do, and I find it helpful to lay down the whens and hows for later, because inevitably things go away when you stop considering them. And when you get old. Follow the link to the Story Stash at the top of the page if you’re curious.
Chapbook Update: The forthcoming chapbook, titled HUNDRED ACRE, is waiting on a final press proof before it goes into the sales pipeline. There are still questions about sales channel and fulfillment to resolve, though I do know there won’t be an ebook. I have nothing against the Ents - I’m just one guy who’s not inclined to reformat fifty pages for the sake of about a buck seventy in earnings. Insert Dirty Harry’s observation on limitations here.
12/09/22 - IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE STORY TIME
It’s been a busy few weeks - settling into a new tech writing job, adjusting my schedule (sleep, play, and otherwise), and rolling towards the holidays. But it’s also been a more-busy-than-normal writing-related stretch.
New Story Alert: “Our Lady Of Widdershins” got picked up by THE SATURDAY EVENING POST last week for their online New Fiction Friday feature, which previously brought you “Every Hero An Hombre, Every Wolf A Clown” and “Everything In Time Travel has Been Done” - and it’s live THIS MORNING! A gentle family tale about yearning for the past, fighting for the future, and the superstition in between. It might be the closest I’ve come to something in Ray Bradbury county, and that’s okay too. A little more of a time commitment than many of mine (about 3200 words) but I hope you’ll give it a read. Click here to discover “Our Lady Of Widdershins”!
Other New-ish Story Alert: Back on October 30, Factor Four Magazine published a piece of my flash fiction online, “How To Speak To Monkey”, which is also a free read, and short enough for your coffee break. It also appears in their 2022 anthology in print/ebook, which you can find linked on the BUY page if you’re looking for a whole set of short, sharp stories. Click here to to find out “How To Speak To Monkey”.
New Chapbook Coming: A three-story chapbook is in the works with a mystery/crime thread running through it. I’m currently in the proofing stage, and will have more news as it develops. And speaking of…
The Thing I Can’t Tell You Yet: A kind-of big deal is going on in the background, but I am prohibited from speaking of it for a little while longer. But you won’t miss it when I can talk about it, because I’m going to make you sick of hearing about it.
“To Sleep, Perchance…” Published in September by Radon Journal, has been nominated by the magazine’s editors for this year’s Pushcart Prize. Massive nomination pool, so it’s long odds to even get shortlisted, but it’s very nice to be well thought of enough to be submitted.
And Finally… I’m going to park this here as a weird visual visitor measurement device. It’s certainly in the IYKYK vein, but I also think if it’s noticed, there will be questions, so…
09/18/22 - “TO SLEEP, PERCHANCE” in RADON JOURNAL #2
How far might intellectual property law someday stretch? The new issue of Radon Journal - the “Anarchist Dystopian Transhuman Science Fiction Prose & Poetry Journal” - offers one opinion in my latest story, “To Sleep, Perchance”; and you can read it for free at their website. Click here to go to Radon Journal Issue 2. The issue is also available as a downloadable PDF.
Investigating Representation: The first C.T. Robillard novel has gone out the door on its first two agency queries; I expect more to follow because the reality is a peanut butter cup of a mystery novel - set a short but undefined time from now, and thus having SF trappings - is going to be a weird duck for which to locate a pond. But it’s early, and optimism is still high.
Submission Score: As of this morning, six stories are in editorial hands, and a seventh remains in contest.
In Other Words: I find myself dancing
from piece to piece: writing, editing,
researching, transcribing, trying to find a
DVD with a panel from a long-ago SF con
for some dialogue inspiration, considering and
then scrapping projects and notions, making
notes on the keepers. I’m not quite lost; not
entirely sure I’m making great time, either.
And there are reasons for this, but you’ll
have to tune in later this week for greater
clarity.
And Finally: There may or may not be a website refresh coming; sometimes, you feel things are stale, or you want to try something a little different, or the fonts begin to rub like a joint missing its cartilage. Home owners know this usually leads to paint swatches and decor shopping. But it’s also not a priority in the grand scheme. But if things suddenly seem different - like that uncle who appears ‘off’ and you realize later the mustache was missing after years - they probably are.
08/15/22 - NEW STORY ONLINE + NOVEL NOTES
Head on over to Guilty Crime Story Magazine’s website for my flash fiction story “Down Lovers’ Lane”, live this morning.
Follow this link, even!
Meanwhile, as the machine spins up to start looking for an agent for my mystery series, I took a fine-toothed comb to the existing manuscript for typos, word choices, final tweaks and tuning. Was it more extensive than I expected? Yes, but only because I set the manuscript aside four years ago, and there are a couple of new tools in the box. The prevailing wisdom is the publishing world runs light in August, and September would be a better time to begin this search, so the rest of the month is research and fine-tuning the initial query letter and synopsis.
Get Social:
Work In Progress:
Sleep out-of-doors through enough storms, and even drowsy the outcast sounds will get through the veil: a crack of wood, a slide of rock, the draw of steel along leather. You gotta hear those, because the thumb of the hammer comes too late to alert you, even if you learned from William. I heard the cascade of small stones down the face of the hill, watched a short stream of them dance with the rain in a flash of lighting. Creepers. They tried to move under cover of thunder, but a second flicker of lighting threw their shadows on the ground outside.
I let them climb into their graves.
from “Old Stonewall”
If you have the yen...
oh, bother…
